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WHAT IS IT WITH MEN AND THEIR PENISES?

Updated on August 4, 2017

MAYBE IT STARTS IN THE WOMB?

HABITUAL FONDLERS?

After raising four sons and being married twice, I pretty much thought I knew as much as there was to know, at least as much as any woman knows, about penises. I cannot even express to you the number of times in a day I would have to tell one of my sons to "take his hand out of his pants"! I never could figure out why boys must touch themselves periodically during the day, everyday. Were they checking to see if their penis was okay; just making sure it was still there and had not fallen off? Or, even worse, were they becoming "habitual" fondlers!? That was my fear. Afterall, we try to teach our children socially acceptable behaviors from day one. We teach them it is not okay to eat with their mouths open, to pick their nose in public and that they must always cover their mouth when they sneeze. However, we never think to mention "no hands in the pants" or "no touching your penis in public" until they have already started doing it. And, before we know it, before we can train them not to, they are doing it all the time! Well, history is repeating itself! I was having a wonderful lunch with two of my sons, my husband and my daughter-in-law. We were celebrating my birthday. My son and daughter-in-law had just come from their ultra-sound. What a sweet birthday surprise for me! We were having a girl this time after two beautiful grandsons! During the course of the lunch, my daughter-in-law leaned over and asked me, "did any of your boys have issues with their penises"? She continued, "Braden touches himself all the time and he seems to have "erections" all day long. It all came rushing back to me. I knew Braden touched himself alot. As a grandmother, I continually would ask him if he had to go "potty". And, are you ready for this? Braden is only five years old! So, again. What is it with the penis and when does it start, in the womb? Women always say that men "think with their.......'s"! Now I know it must be true. We are talking about a gorgeous, blue-eyed, blonde, smart as a whip, little boy who could speak Spanish before he could speak English, who plays soccer, basketball, goes to music lessons, Sunday school and is always booked for play dates. I mean the kid is crazy busy but still he can't stop thinking about his penis. Can you imagine how distracting this must be for a five year old? Have boys and men really been carrying this burden in silence for centuries? Could this be the answer to their constant hornyness? I really wasn't sure I could give my daughter-in-law the correct advice. I either couldn't remember if erections were involved when the boys were little other than potty time and waking up in the morning time. I told her perhaps she should ask her pediatrician if this was normal.

So, does this knowledge change our view of men? Should we cut them some slack knowing they are totally out of control when it comes to their penises? Or, do we run like hell the other way?

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INFORMATION BEST LEFT FOR A FATHER AND SON CAMPING TRIP!!

And, as a mother or grandmother of boys how do we teach them socially acceptable behavior when they are only four or five years old, practically still babies, who have no idea why a certain part of their body keeps popping up and sticking out. If we tell them it is a bad thing will it affect them negatively? Just how do boys come to understand their pesky penises? How do they come to understand that, even though constant erections all day long are greatly distracting, they must never, ever touch it or acknowledge it in public and how do you tell a little boy, a man to be, that this seemingly uncontrollable body part will only become more uncontrollable the older he gets? Or, as a woman, a mother or grandmother, do we even want to go there? Perhaps some things are best left to be discovered....or, perhaps,best left to their father's or grandfather's to discuss with them.

As women, maybe the best we can do is take this knowledge about man's uncontrollable organ and use it to our advantage. Wait just a minute! I think most of us already have!

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